Today has been one of those days (or rather nights) that I just don’t feel like doing much of anything and especially don’t feel like doing work. I don’t know if its the night shift getting to me, my piss poor eating habits sending my body chemistry into a tail spin or just the usual blah of the changing seasons kicking in but I can’t see the point in much of anything right now. These kinds of funks tend to leave me questioning my profession and career path, looking for a reason to just drop it all and go do something simple instead where I don’t have to think or use my brain for anything more than regulation of bodily functions
Further introspection on my choice of career makes me wonder why I’m really here in the first place, its not like I create anything useful or provide a service to people. All I create is more data (and not all of it useful) and the service I provide by showing up to work is aimed at businesses more than people. Colleagues are progressing onward or expanding into new directions yet my position at the new company is not that different from my old position and it all starts to feel like the same old song and dance. Friends are developing lives and generally growing as people yet I’m still the same person I was five or even ten years ago just with more disposable income.
Money is another thing I find myself thinking about a lot recently, and how much I make in relation to the work I do in order to earn that money. For all intents and purposes I am a glorified ticket monkey; I process tickets and direct them to the necessary groups for investigation and resolution but I don’t actually do anything technical other than wrangle the various ticketing systems into some semblance of order; yet I get paid twice what I did at my previous employer for quite literally half the quantifiable work. I was having a conversation with someone the other day who said that if they made 200 to 300 dollars a week that they would be doing damn good. I crunched a few numbers in my head and realized that I make more than that in a single night and I didn’t do even half the work that the other person did. This of course lead me to wondering how its even right that I make so much for doing so little and more importantly how much is enough as far as money is concerned.
I would like to be able to tell myself that this job is just temporary and will be a stepping stone to either building the retreat I’ve always wanted or a jumping point to higher echelons of Information Technology but I honestly don’t know what this job is to me right now. It would be nice if I could feel immersed in my work and have that sense of satisfaction when I leave work in the morning but I just don’t have that right now.